Sawadee Kerp #5 ...English, anyone?

Final post to wrap up my Tomyam Land exploration, the above picture shows a signage memo on my room's door. I spent quite some time to understand the meaning. How long will you then?

As a cinaman (formal Chinese Education, brush up my English only after working) with cranky Chinalish, I certainly find myself in the cloud to understand Thailish.

How I wish my doctor say these to me?

All my friends who eat with me know that I love "high risk" food. Healthy organic vegetables never in my mind. I thought grass is for cow and vegetables are for rabbit. We are human, need to live life in full by eating human food. :)

So, when I saw below Q&A from a forwarded mail, I was so happy. How I wish it is true.

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger!!!!!!. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

Starbucks?!

Checked my Yahoo! mail and saw this forwarded mail. No description, no where to trace. But a picture tell us thousand words.

Do you have any idea for your new kopitiam concept in Puchong?

If you are thinking what am I thinking, kill me, please...

When Mark gets food poisoning...

SHAH ALAM: A food blogger named Mark was suspected to suffer food poisoning after eating at his favorite Mamak restaurent in Shah Alam.

After eating two pieces of roti canai as his supper, his stomarch felt very uneasy. At first he though it was because of small digestion problem. He did not take any further notice. Instead, he opened a can of beer to chill himself down. Unfortunately, the following 12 hours he had stayed practically awake and sitting outside his toilet.

The next morning he quickly went to a clinic nearby, in an almost fully dehydrated condition. Doctor immediately gave him an injection after hearing his story and send him back to rest for two days.

When he told the story to his family, his mum first reaction was:" See? Told you not to drink too much beer!"

When he SMS to his colleague about his medical leave, his colleague first reply was:" Are you sure is food poisoning? Not beer poisoning?"

At last, he himself also confuse what kind of poisoning he was having.

After recovered, this is the lunch this person having today. No beer on site.